He was like in form three or so, he was a big dude, he spoke much better english, ( well, we thought he did so) because we didn't know he was the most stupid person in his class - but we didn't have a good command of english back then we just came out from the primary. So  some of us thought he is a teacher or something like that.  Even in primary, we had a dude like this who was 23 years old but still in standard 6.  So we came behind passed him, and left him in standard six but he was so bully you will let him copy your work and pass it on to the teacher as if it it his own,  lest he beat the pulse out of your  little life.

I mean small people were so helpless when he confronts them, because nobody will dare to come to your rescue, and who wants  to go home with a broken jaw or a broken nose? This guy made us to think  he is the King of Karate. He was talking of how  he can beat a person like a thunder,  how he can grab a person by the neck, punch his chest, and rip it open, remove the  heart, and let you see it before you die.  Very scary indeed if you can imagine that.  We didn't know that is all nothing but big talk (domo kaya)

I mean just see how America brags  like this dude whom I'm talking about.  Just listen to the pentagon briefings. Just see that analyst with a stick and the map on CNN showing you how they are going to go in there, surround  the dem place, and just blow it up with everybody in it. That is the most grotesque thing you would   want to wait and see. I mean your friends would be telling you to run, kijana run for your dear life. 

And if you are a skinny little fellow like Saddam Hussein who stands there and tell this dude  to go to hell, people hold their breath, some stick their necks out from where they are already hiding to take another good look at you, wow ! This guy is nuts, he is going to be blown off like a chauff. Some will be praying for you in their hide outs so that God rests your soul in eternal peace. To them, you are already a dead meat.  A while ago, Saddam was to the rest of the world a dead corpse.

Now people are getting out of their hide outs to cheer the little guy, a David who challenged a Goliath. Even in those days, they told David, are you nuts kid? How dare you wanna fight  Goliath?  People were busy digging his grave. But the little man had faith.

 I remember this high school bully would give a mono 50cts to go get him a  big soda (madiaba) and a half a loaf of bread.  I mean the big soda was 10 bob then, and mkate nusu (half loaf) was 5. Which means the mono will have to come up with the rest.  School happened to have been avery small place. Monos lilved in fear and avoided this guy kabisa.

In the cafeteria, he would pick up a mono to line up and get his food. Infact, wait! he would order monos to move way out to the back of the line so that he can get the top layer.  He said, "monos are only there to be seen, not to    be heard". For those who are not familiar with the top layer. I will break it  down to you. Top layer is the best of the food cooked for 2000 students or so. Those who lags behind gets the remnants of the layer. Tough guys are  the ones getting the top layer. Not wimps!

 The worst part of it was when this dude gave you his stinking shoes to call your mama. He wants you to use the stinking shoes like a telephone and make a call to your mama. The moment you challenge it, you  get the best beating in the world, and by the time you are getting the beatings, nobody wants to come close to save you. Who wants to get embroiled in that quag. When this guy is beating you, not even your close friends dares to save you from his wrath. You are on your own every body ran away.

So, one day, a mono who was fed up with this guys bully attitude decided that enough is enough, I'm going to die, I would rather die, but I'm going to let this guy bully me no more. But before he kills me, I must give him the best I have.  Even if I'm able to squeeze just one punch on his nose,at least he will be bleeding.  I will go in my grave knowing I have left him in pain.

That seen was very scary in the hallway where the skinny little mono (Saddam) dared the big  bully dude (Bush). There was so much commotion in the hallway. People were like, I mean this is gotta  be interesting. This mono is going to be killed, oh! my God, he is dead! kijana run, run for your dear life. But kijana drew up his line and stood behind it ready to die.

However, the mono had been roughed up before by this guy and he learned something that not so many people did not. He figured that this guy is not what he makes us believe he is. I can beat him. He has no secrets. I know how he fights because it is all over the air. He demonstrates how he is going to dash, wiggle to the side from my left, and then give me a lithal punch aka stealth. All I need to do is to time him and grab his leg. If I can only get his leg, he will be down.

Or I can just time him and jump on his big neck and hang' on it tightly. Now you all know that in the Maasai Mara just a small little bee can drive all the animals out of the grazing field? A small bee can sting elephants, lions, buffalos etc and drive them as far as he wants because all the bee has to do is to get into the elephant's nose and unleash the sting.

So the little man figured out how he can beat the crap out of this bully guy on campus, and after I'm done with him, he is not going to go around bullying people anymore.  I will teach him the best lesson in the world.  It won't look good ya'll, it won't look good.

I mean guys were curious, how is he going to do it? Now as you all know a person who shows off a lot yet he can't fight usually removes his watch, his shirt, his shoes and even his pants first to threaten  the opponent ( Bush to Saddam,  run into exile you have only 48 hrs to save your life). Saddam is like, exile? you must be dreaming...c'mon, just c'mon over here I will teach you a lesson, who do you think you are? c'mon... bring it on.

In the meantime, the big  dude (bush) is fuming hot, some body hold me before I kill this  thing? Mtu anishike kabla sijararwa  kabwera. Chirac, Putin, could somebody please hold me.? Chirac is like, hell No! I ain't holding you, you are on your own.  Look! Goerge,  just chill man, we shall take care of this guy. We know! we know! but it is hard to go into someones house and look for a needle. You can't find it.

Now Kofi Anan and the U.N. is like the girl friend of the big  dude in a Club... U.N.  gets in the club because the U.S. pays the gate and buy drinks. So the U.N. is like, honey...what's up? calm down! just leave this guy alone and lets go home please!. So U.S. like, look woman, get out of my way, get into the car and let me kick this guys ass. Don't stop me.

So the big duded orders his buddies who rides around with him in his car. Somebody grab that  little thing and bring it over to me.... Blair c'mon shika... yeye...umlete hapa. So Blair is  like yeah! we gonna kick you ass, jinga kumbaaf hii. Blair is one of those dudes who hangs out with the Bully guy so that nobody dares him either... and if the bully guy gets something, they split, or shall I say eat from the crumbs that falls off his table?  I got a refrigirator full of beer, let kick this dudes ass, go home and grab a bud.

Blair wants to be seen as those who are powerful, cos birds of feathers flock together.  I mean those lazy heads you see around the rich man, even if he tukanas them... and call them names... they don't say anything, but yes boss! Like those Lee Njirus and the former mtukufu. Mzee mimi niko na wewe.

Did you see those dudes in the village kissing someone ones ass? yeah!  They just hang' up so that the bully guy is buying them beer and nyama choma. When he starts the fight, he wants you all to be in it. He walks around with entourage of ass kissers. he goes to the club, take someone's girl friend or start a fight, and order yall all to beat the hell out of that person. If you don't, you are out. You are not riding in his car, and you are not drinking his bud nor eating his nyama choma anymore. Tabia ya kijana ya tajiri..... born with a silver spoon, and the World is his playground.

To be cont....

Harrison Wayoga